Before I get into the purpose of this post and what I always wake up to on January 1, I want to say THANK YOU for being a friend of this little design studio and following along on this journey. This last year was just full. Full of love, change, gratitude, disappointment and sadness, figuring out how to deal with disappointment and sadness, travel, creativity and growth. If I have learned anything from these 30 years on earth, it’s that your year was probably full of the same types of ups and downs as mine, so know you aren’t alone, we are in this together. This year was also full of amazing projects, working with solo entrepreneurs on crafting their brand and place in the online world. I am thrilled with the projects I got to be a part of and feel like it’s only getting better!
As we enter the new year I also find that I like to re-think my purpose as a designer and figure out if I need to move and change anything in order to help myself grow in new directions. This my friends is still to be determined, but I have a feeling the magic ball says yes.
—- So here we go…..my welcome into 2016 —-
I am not sure why, but every time I wake up on January 1 I am surprised that I wake up feeling a few different ways (in no particular order):
1 | Full of LIFE! Like anything is possible. I could start to learn Japanese today and ain’t no thing, I can totally do it. I can do anything.
2 | Like I want to learn and grow and become a better version of myself, creatively, musically, in my business, in my personal life, within my friends, like there seems to be just a huge open space of possibilities and potential that I all of a sudden realized I should take advantage of (like it hasn’t’ been there for the last 365 days).
3 | I always wake up feeling like, okay this is the year when I become a phenoms. cook, when I will finally use all of those beautiful cookbooks I have collected for the last 5 years. I’ll be the one cooking the meals and with an effortless style. I’ll be the one people ask for for recipes and how-to’s, and I’ll do it seamlessly – no stress, it will just happen naturally and so Gwyneth Paltrow-esque.
4 | I will be more myself in every way, but especially in my professional life. I will be as unique in the world as I know I can be, and hey, I got this, just be you. Who cares about trends or what is “cool”, you got this.
5 | Set those big goals and make them happen. You can do anything!
It’s funny that these are re-occurring feelings every new year, but it’s kind of no surprise. There is so much hype and inspiration surrounding the concept of a fresh new year & new start that it gets everyone jazzed to become better, do better, live better, eat better, dream better. But then March comes around and it feels like that deep inspiration has slowly started to die and I am left feeling like I did at the end of the previous year. I don’t know about you, but I think that this cycle can stop, we just have to actively and purposefully force it to stop
I have also been thinking a lot about pain lately (I swear this will all tie together in a minute), why it is a thing, what is its purpose and how we can get around it, or just deal with it. While explaining this thought to Tyler, I said “It’s just like getting a bikini wax. You know that it’s going to hurt and you know when, so you anticipate it, but if you just acknowledge that pain is going to happen and that you are going to now take yourself out of the situation and see it for what it is, just another feeling, then your body starts to relax and the whole experience is way better.” He obviously couldn’t relate, but I think he got the picture. I think of these “New Year feelings” of hope and endless inspiration as just another feeling I have to acknowledge and take control of. If I really, really want to be a better cook, then yes I need to make time to practice, in turn I need to give up some time doing something else that I’m currently doing in my life. (The book Essentialism taught me this along with blowing my mind the whole way through.)
I hope that this year I really learn how to make the time and the moves to live in these feelings all year long. I hope that I don’t give up before March and I hope that by next January 1 I will have new feelings to wake up to.
I am excited for this year. I know it’s going to be a great one, and I wish you the best of years this year – dreaming and doing all the things your heart urges for. Thank you again for following along in this journey and for being a friend of this little space on the internet. Happy fresh, new year, friends!
- July 28, 2015
Life is all unicorns and rainbows until it isn’t. For me the rainbows started to fade when I came out of my second miscarriage in a year (the last one happened just a few weeks ago) and after a few weeks after the double procedure the doctors had to do, I realized I was just not okay. I didn’t feel brave anymore and to say I was broken would be an understatement. I was sad, tied of being sad for so many months and tired of being disappointed month after month. I noticed I was covering it up with adventures, saying I was okay, and work. Lots of work. I was seeing the world through the lens of of goal-setting, to-do lists, chores that must get done and places I must see all so that I could say I had moved on and I was okay. What I was missing and what I desperately needed was to get back to the love. What I have realized is, this life, this crazy ride around the sun is all about the love, love for one’s self, love for one’s partner, love for one’s job and love for the sake of loving the everyday. I just can’t see another really good reason to be doing all of this except for that.
After going through the second devastation of the year (and I say devastation with a grain of salt because I know I have it really, really good) I knew logically speaking that the chemicals and hormones that were in my body when I was pregnant had left which made my body basically go into a frenzy leaving me feeling off-kilter. Logically speaking, I got it. I was off-balance and not in my center. Emotionally speaking, I had a layer of sadness that just hung out and won’t seem to go away. It’s just that my rainbows and unicorns that usually flush my life with happiness and love in all I did had turned into part rainbows, part dark and stormy black clouds. I have always been in-tune with my body, my emotions, my feelings, the whole she-bang, but for the first time in since I can remember, that underlying sadness felt like depression. Ahh depression. What a terrible word. There is such a stigma around depression that it made it even hard to write this or to even think that that is what was happening to me. I told myself that perhaps all of this was a lesson I was suppose to be learning, what lesson I was not sure.
Then one day while I was watching the sappiest rom-com ever it hit me; keep it simple. Don’t overcomplicate things. There is nothing else expected of you except to do it with and for love. In my job; to love and propel my clients so they can do the same for the people they are helping; in my everyday life with my best friend and better half, to do all the things we’re doing – working, adventuring, traveling and seeking a happy day everyday, all for love. To be in love with what you do and to make our life filled with so much love it bursts from the seams. The stuff, the material stuff, the goal-setting stuff, the reaching, growing, chasing, dreaming is all just fluff unless it’s to make the everyday about love.
I finally know the lesson I was suppose to learn and after way too many pints of ice cream, rom-coms and feeling like my Michael Franti-life is good-peace and happiness-energy had slipped out of my life, I am thrilled to say I get it. Keep it simple, don’t overcomplicate things and do everything for the everyday love. Oh and if you can, be incredibly, wildly brave in all you do.
I hope that if you are going through a similar situation, you know that 1 in 3 women are too, so you are not alone. We are in this together and we got this. Even if you are A. not a woman or B. not going through a miscarriage, know that I believe you can love what you do everyday. I know its possible because I have been lucky enough to see so many people jump and achieve it. Questions, or just wanna say hi, please leave a comment or email me. I’d love to hear from you!
- February 06, 2015
Welcome to this new space! After a few months of re-branding and re-designing my website, I am so excited to share it with you! Take a look around and please let me know what you think! And oh yeah, I chopped all my hair off! #shorthairdontcare
Now I just want to jump right into it. This thought has been sitting and waiting to be shared and I figured this day is the perfect time to let it out…..
Since the New Year I have felt like I finally see my brand and my life clearer than I ever have before. I’m not sure if it’s just because 2015 is magical or if I am growing up and learning more life lessons (either way, I’ll take it). Something I think a lot about is my word of 2015 and how it transcends into my daily life – authenticity. For instance, do you ever find yourself making a decision that is made because your gut tells you you should, but your heart feels icky about it? I don’t mean like right vs wrong, I am talking about making decisions that are in total alignment with your authentic self. This year I am putting more energy into being totally me. I want to concentrate more on what makes me thrive as a human being, and not give into that feeling of “I should do this/wear that/be this way” that reflects someone else’s authentic self. I want to be in control of my visions, my dreams, my passions and the only way to do that is to say yes to some things and say no to a lot of things. We all want to feel accepted in some form, but by being really picky about the things we say yes to we start to create a habit of authenticity.
In the last few years, I have found that we are all afraid to be exactly how we are. We have this voice in our head that makes us question the things that make use different from the next person and we categorize them as flaws, when in reality they are personality traits. I am so guilty of this and I know that so many of the amazing, strong and beautiful women in my life are too. Why, oh why do we think this way?! If we all were the same, we’d be bored. If we all acted the same, had the same thought process, reacted to situations the same, loved the same, worked the same, then let’s face it we’d be robots and this would be some crazy sci-fi movie that nobody wants to watch.
I challenge you like I am challenging myself to say yes to loving all the things about you that you have put in the “flaw/thing to work on” box and say yes to the things that make you come alive. Owning who you are as a person will translate into your work, into your relationships and into the way you think about yourself. I trip out about the fact that we all only get X amount of days to live life and the majority of us spend a huge amount of time trying to fit in and change who we are to make us feel like we fit in. Honestly, why?! We’ve all been doing this since like the 6th grade….I think it’s about time to give it up!
I am excited to have you here in this new space where my design company lives, but also where this blog continues to grow. It’s my little corner and outlet for travel, inspiration, style and art and I hope you follow along.
I hope your hump day rocks and please email me with any comments or suggestions for new site! I would love to hear them! Also, you can get blog posts sent to your inbox by signing up in that lovely black bar ^ and also sign up for my monthly newsletter in the footer!
- January 05, 2015
Photo of me taken by Carrie Green in Palm Springs while at Designer Vaca. Handlettering by me.
Happy New Year! Man do I love the new year. I’m pretty sure we are all high on change, determination and motivation right about now as the new year signifies a clean slate, a chance to make some big or small changes, to re-focus and most likely to slow it down on the sugar since the holidays just passed :)
Me, I am ready for it all. Last year was an awesome time. I honestly can’t believe everything that happened last year, from growing my business and figuring out who I am as a business owner and designer, to meeting the most inspiring and incredible people, to deciding to start a family and to making some changes in the way Tyler and I live our lives day-to-day. Last year was a year of foundation and growth and this year is the year where I put all that I have learned into play.
Have you chosen your word for 2015? Have you ever done this? It’s so fun…basically you choose a word that will embody your vision for your year ahead and then with a little manifestation, that word will guide you in your next 365 days. I chose authenticity because it embodies what this year means to me: to be completely me in business, personal life, in my relationships with others, in the way I live the day-to-day and in my goals for the future. To be completely honest with yourself is powerful, dare I say a game-changer :) In fields such as design, it can be a challenge to be authentic in a world where outside influence is constant and prominent. I felt it fully as I was emerging in the design world and feeling like I should be one way or another or I should like something or should wear something, etc. I’m sure you get it, I mean you are human too.
When I decided that authenticity was my word for the year, I didn’t tell anyone, not even Tyler. I kept it personal, to myself so that I could start to check in and see what that was going to look like for me. Randomly, Tyler shared with me an excerpt from the book he was reading and it was entitled the Power of Authenticity. I read The Secret Letters of a Monk Who Sold His Ferrari on our honeymoon, but I had forgotten how true this statement really is:
Going into this new year, I plan on slowing down a bit, concentrating on quality over quantity, remembering to stretch and drink water and to keep working towards living the life I envision for me and my family. I plan on adventuring more, exploring new places, not doing things I don’t want to do, working smarter, strengthening connections I made last year, cooking more (gulp), acknowledging my habits and either honoring them or changing them, practicing being in the moment and not thinking more than six months ahead and acting like a sponge and learning as much as I can.
I hope you had such a great New Year! Have a great word of 2015? Let’s here it!
There are going to be some changes coming up on this site and I can’t wait to share. More on that later, but for now, have a great one!